The Nicotine Chronicles- Day 154

I can definitely taste the food a lot better. I still haven't figured out if that goes in the plus column or not. Constantly itching and fidgeting around like the drug that I'm trying to kick is Crack Cocaine instead of what's normally found in cigarettes. The road to recovery is long and winding and I'm already getting dizzy. This is my story...

It's almost over!!! I am coming around the mountain on this deployment thing and will be home very soon!!!! Yeah, I may have toked (is that actually a word?) on a cigarette once or twice, but they are behind me now. I can honestly say that my cigarette smoking days are over. No longer am I a slave to the nicotine and other harsh additives found in those little cancer sticks!!!!! I have moved on....to these:


Yep. I've done it now. I think I have transferred my addiction over to these muhfuckahs. What the hell was I thinking? While I don't inhale these, I still get a little buzz when toking (there goes that word again in a different tense, though) on 'em. I have to admit that these things, coupled with a glass of Scotch, Cognac, or your liquor of choice I guess, can just put me in a real state of tranquillity. I mean, I used to wonder why they had, or what the very purpose of a cigar bar was, until I went into one overseas. Man, that's where it's at!! You get you a glass of yak, a smoke, and then just chill with some friends while listening to live jazz that is usually being performed by an aspiring American duo that didn't really make it big in the States but is seeing moderate success covering other people's music over here. I can't hate, shyt, they love 'em. When she asked for requests though, I have to admit that my boys and me were upset that she couldn't sing Anita Baker's "Sweet Love." I was hoping that it was because she didn't have the range whether than her not knowing it. Never really found out though.

I was just in the mood to hear it. I remember when the album came out, my Mom, and her boyfriend at the time, were both in love with it and played the tape on a road trip all the way from Chicago to Ashtabula, Ohio to visit my grandmother. That shyt was killing me and my sister. She had a Walkman but I was stuck, and shyt outta luck. Everytime I woke up I was hearing the same song. Soon Nicole's batteries ran out and she was subjected to the shyt like I was. We were thinking "Twilight Zone" and shyt and were about to ditch they ass at the next Rest Stop until... Well, let me get back on the subject though.

We were at a club in Singapore and one of my boys overheard this fine ass female say, "I love the smell of a good Cohiba." So wanting to be down with the Jones', he orders our drinks and two Cohibas. When the bartender told him the price was $125 he managed to get out a not too subtle "What the f*ck?" before losing consciousness. I don't know if this was his plan, but I doused his ass with water and waited until the nikka came to because...well, I wasn't about to pay for it.


Che Guevara
(No, I don't support Communists)

Anyway, I may have screwed myself because with the cost of gas in Hawaii at $3.40-3.60/gal and these damn cigars going at $35-45 a pop...well it looks like I will be car pooling. I know, but I gotta have these shyts. Look at the advertisement and tell me this wouldn't make you at least want to try one.

"Wow. Now this is a beautiful Cuban Cigar. When you look at the broad selection of cuban cigars, regardless of factory or brand, nothing compares to a beautiful Belicoso. The gentle taper, the massive foot, the deep chocolately wrapper all scream "Bring on the fire!!". Nestled in the box, they look like missles of satifaction in the war machine of desire. (Calm down, J. I think they are still talking about cigars, not...nevermind.) The aroma? Imagine a leather box, full of cinnamon and chocolate, drizzled with Cognac and a touch of orange zest. Then add one part musk and one part jealousy and you have half of how good these smell."

I know, right!!! So, ummm...who's driving on Monday?

What in THE Hell ever Happened to....Camp Lo???

Artist: Camp Lo
Claim to Fame: Rap Group (circa 1996)
Biggest Hit: This Is It
Last Hit: This Is It
Impact: Though they didn't spawn the word "Luchini", this group helped put it in people's mouths for at least 2-3 months.

Because I didn't really wanna do the research, I got the bio off of Yahoo Music. Please forgive me.

"Camp Lo is a rap group from the Bronx who melds hip-hop with jazz sensibilities and funk. After having a hit single, "Coolie High," from The Great White Hype soundtrack in early 1996, they released their debut album, Uptown Saturday Night, in February of 1997. The album was reissued two years later on Arista Records, and a second album (Let's Do It Again) finally appeared in 2002. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine, All Music Guide"

Now I am not the foremost export on Hip Hop/Rap or any kind of music or whatever, but I have had the unfortunate pleasure of smelling farts that lasted longer. I have to admit that I was feeling "This is it"....

This is it (What?!)
Luchini pourin' from the sky Lets get rich (What?!)
The cheeky vines
The sugar dimes
Cant quit (What?!)
Now pop the cork and scream the vigga
And get lit (What?! What?! What?!)


Yeah, that intro, along with the horns, were what did it for me. Aside from that...ummmm...nothing. According to the bio they rereleased the CD in 1999. Didn't notice. Funny that the title for the last CD was "Let's Do It Again". I think not. If it sucked the first time, AND was rereleased, then why do it again.

Kinda like that first time when you slept with that female you had been wanting to hit and you turned in a less than stellar performance. Yeah, and you spent the rest of the weekend wondering why she didn't return your many phone calls. LOL. Yeah....ummmm...anyone ever go through that????
(Clearing throat)
Ahem...ummm...me neither. Movin' on...

So what lesson can we take away from that?????

Subpar winky action ~ no call backs : one hit debut CD ~ sophomore CD sales

I think that was an actual correct answer on the SATs.

Ballin' outta control!!!! Help!!!

The fountain in this pic holds no significant meaning to how we be gettin' down in these foreign ports. Not really....







Singapore. Beautiful country, beautiful women. Enuff said. I told J that we were international with it and I'm not lying. Hopefully we can see some of the country this time.

Yeah, I think for the most part, we spoil ourselves when we are out here on deployment. I mean, we stay at expensive hotels like the Hilton, The Grand this, The Royal that. All of them 4 1/2 stars and up. We do things that we normally wouldn't dream of doing in the States. I mean, if I'm traveling and I'm in your neighborhood I might ask you to hold me down for a night or two. That, or at least sleep at a Super 8 for $40.00 dollars a night. But we do things that we wouldn't even dream of doing back home. I mean, who spends 225 dollars a day at the Hilton in Sydney, Australia? 180 a night in Singapore? Anyone???

WE DO, THAT'S WHO!!!!

We tried to take it down a notch but soon realized....THAT SUCKS!!!
Like my boy GP, for instance, whose toenails coincidentally look like eagle talons, would treat himself to a pedicure and a manicure. Hey, to each, his own. I've had one before....a manicure, that is.
As I walked up on him, I coulda swore that ol' girl hookin' him up had a face shield on when she was sanding down the corns and nails on his claws. Me, being the only expert on the scene with any electrical background, had to explain to them in great detail why the lights were flickerin' on an off throughout the whole ordeal.

But hey, sometimes it's cool to lose yourself. Unfortunately, that also involves handing over 500 stones for a two night stay in a lavish hotel, rubbing elbows with international biznessmen makin' them feel uncomfortable as hell as I ask them, while in the executive lounge draped from head to toe in my University of Illinois BBall gear, wearing flip flops and ankle socks, two fistin' alcoholic beverages because we only have 20 more minutes of free drinks, "Could you please pass the Grey Poupon? Yeah, you Mr. O'Henry. You were here last night. Same drill, gawt dammit!!!!"

Horatio "Huggy" Washington

International Player#: 176893453
Member since: 1992
Expiration date: Armageddon

What in THE Hell Ever Happened To...DAS EFX????

Das EFX

Krazy Drazyz (Andre Weston) and Skoob (Willie Hines) met at Virginia State University in 1988. Both were raised in New York and were at V State majoring in English, I believe. The developed a crazy ass style where most of their rhymes had several made up words ending in "-iggity." This latest craze caught hip hop off guard, but it was quickly embraced by the fans. Das EFX caught their big break when they performed at a talent show judged by EPMD. Though they didn't win, EPMD was impressed enough to offer them a deal, and the duo became part of the Def Squad crew of protégés. I think these niggas lost to Vanilla Ice or somethin' like that. Movin' on...

Upon its release in 1992, Dead Serious caused an immediate sensation, and is still considered something of a landmark in hip-hop circles. The first single, the instantly memorable signature song "They Want EFX," was a Top 40 pop hit and a Top Ten R&B hit, and helped push sales of Dead Serious past the platinum mark. Wary of being pigeonholed by repeating themselves, the duo slowed down their lyrical flow and downplayed the surrealistic side of their interplay on the follow-up album, 1993's Straight Up Sewaside, which went gold. Around the time of 1995's disappointing Hold It Down, which probably went Sterling Silver, they were forgot about. Well, by me at least. The following is the song that introduced them to the fans of Hip Hop worldwide. "They want EFX", is the title as well as the only song they have that I like. I could've sworn one of them were in the group "Poor Righteous Teachers" but I'm probably wrong. Ha. I remember when my boys used to insert the first line of this song whenever someone asked them a question or something. Kinda like...

"Hey man, what you about to get into?"
"I don't know. I was thinking of calling Renee' over to the house so I can 'Bum stiggedy bum stiggedy bum hon...'"

Yeah, hard to believe we were corny like that once. Anyway, wifout further adieu, here are some lyrics that I bet you have long forgot about.

THEY WANT EFX


Bum stiggedy bum stiggedy bum hon I got the old pa rum pum pum pum
But I can fe fi fo fum diddly bum here I come
So Peter Piper I'm hyper than Pinochio's nose
I'm the supercalafragilistic tic tac pro
I gave my oopsy daisy now you've got the crazy
Crazy with the books Googley goo where's the gravy
So one two unbuckle my um shoe
Yabba Doo hippity hoo crack a brew
So trick or treat smell my feet yup I drippedy-dropped a hit
So books get on your mark and spark that old censorship
Drats and double drats, I smiggedy-smacked some whiz kids
The boogedy-woogedly Brooklyn boy's about to get his, dig
My waist bone's connected to my hip bone
My hip bone's connected to my thigh bone
My thigh bone's connected to my knee bone
My knee bone's connected to my hardy-har-har-har
The jibbedy-jabber jaw ja-jabbing at your funny bone, um
Skip the ovaltine, I'd rather have a honeycomb
Or preferably the sesame, Let's spiggedy-spark the blunts, um
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun
They want EFX, some live EFX

And with that, I am out like...well...these niggas.