If you allow me to rant and rave for a bit....

...you may find out that what I have to say ain't sh*t.
But if you eff up and stick around for awhile
you'll get hooked and realize that you like my style."

Being in love isn't easy. Being out of love sucks even worse. I am waiting around anxiously for someone to pen "The Idiot's Guide to Understanding Women." Whether the author is a male or female makes no difference to me. I would lean towards the male author though, if not for the fact that I feel the female wouldn't totally betray her girls like that. Besides, I really think women like not being understood. It's all part of the game with them. I just wanna be able to understand that "if I do this, then this will happen." I have some of it down, and if you are reading this and you are actually thinking about stepping up and blessing the world with your offering, then I will send you some of my inputs.
I do know that I like having female friends around. Well, not when I am in a bind and about to fight at the club. I mean, I don't want them to go run and get help while I am getting stomped by dudes wif size 14 timbs and everything, but I do like having them around just so I can observe them. You know, sorta like a control group in an experiment. Don't get me wrong, they are friends in every sense of the word. Right now it's Princess and it was Ghetto before her. Both are my aces. Ghetto, I woulda took into a fight with me, while Princess is more like, well...a princess and she might throw something at my assailant but I don't think she will jump on the nikka's back or anything. She is so much like me that it's scary. I can't put anything past her and that's kinda cool because she keeps me on my toes. Pretty intelligent, yet laid the hell back. Yeah, that's me. You'd figure we'd argue more often but that isn't the case. As a matter of fact, she is the only one who just about physically placed one of her friends in my bed!!!! None of the others have done that!!!! They treated me like a brother and refused to let me get with their friends. But you, Princess, you get mad points for that. Regardless of the mileage on that chick, that was love and I gots you. LMMFAO....whew.

*chuckin' da deuce at the princess*

Anyway, I like observing them in everyday life. The only problem with that is when they get pissed off you have to deal with the attitudes and everything just like you were in a relationship with them. You gotta do all the ass kissing to make up and stuff and that would be the only downfall. For instance, Ghetto and I have been friends since '99. She woulda done anything for me and ditto for her. We argued and everything. I don't know how it usually came about but it was probably all her fault. I put up with it and I would be the first one to call and reach out. She was always waiting on me to do that. I was probably one of two dudes that could really get through her tough skin.

Well, when I had gotten into a relationship with a woman I ended being with for 3 yrs, she was still a big part of my life. I mean, it was hard dealing with two women, only one of which I was intimate with, when they both had attitudes towards me. The one always used to wonder why I let Ghetto bother me and why when her and I were at odds, that I would be real pissed off about it. I guess she figured that she should be the only female in my life that could piss me off that way and really get to me. She assumed that we were an item at one time and probably thought that I still liked her or something. That wasn't the case. I mean Ghetto was attractive, but nothing happened between us. Anyway, those three years were rough for me...and disappointing.
Girl friend + Home girl did not = Menage a trois

I'm trippin'....lightweight trippin, anyway. Moving on, just from those three women I just mentioned, I have learned a lot. All have made my life more interesting, while elevating my stress level during the whole process. I wouldn't trade it, but none of them chicks came with manuals!!!!!!
Someone needs to get hot on this and I mean right now!!!!!! There is a fortune to be made and it's right in front of our faces, day in and day out!!!!

Pilot to bombadier...open bomb bay doors...

Communication.
Now, that's important whether you are in a combat zone or in a committed relationship ( I know, what's the f*ckin' difference between the two?). The thing that I want to bring out is that without communications things can get effed up real quick.
Picture, if you will, a man with a grenade in a combat unit. As he throws it, he has to yell something. Why? So his comrades in arms are aware of the situation and stay out of harm's way.
A lumberjack in the woods after choppin' down a tree. "Timber!!!!" Why?
A golfer, after he tees off and notices the golf ball's flight pattern might be a danger to people yells, "Fore!!"
Those are all warnings, huh? Still a form of communication, but basically simple warnings that let people know what's going on, and allows them to respond accordingly. Now imagine you are in a relationship. You both are hanging in there but you don't know what the hell it really is? Is it exclusive? How much does she really care? Where is this going? Well, maybe I should stick it out until the answer reveals itself? Now these aren't questions that I ask. I, personally, like to get down to the bottom of it if I really am interested. I used to be that way though. I also had a Stretch Armstrong and a GI Joe wif a Kung Fu grip, but I packed all of those, punkishness included, into a box and put them away for good when I got older.

The reason I brought this up is because I have a friend, a pretty good friend for the most part, that is going through this with his girl. He likes her but is afraid to tell her about it because he pretty much holds his feelings in and because he doesn't want to be embarrased. Now, how does this work? You wouldn't want to go to work everyday and not really have a job would you? Yeah, you get paid, but if you didn't officially get hired you would be worried about your status and job security, right? Yeah it would never happen, but think about it. All the benefits, but no security. Now back to my homeboy. How do you get... f*ck...how do you even KEEP, a woman without being able to talk to her?!!?! Shyt, I have been in relationships where I HAD to talk about something every single day. I even had to read books together out loud. Yeah, and this punk can't even reach out an express himself to even get her. After you get her believe me, she will force you to talk to her. If your communication skills are subpar she will help you work on 'em. Either that or she will open her bombay doors and shyt all over you.

My message to you is find answers to the questions that you have. Not from your boys, or your home girls, either. Put down your shield and TALK to the only person who has the answers that you are seeking...the pilot. She obviously has the flight plans. If not, then make your own together...or...not.

Drunk again for the last time.

I think I'm gonna have to let this drinking thing go.

Drinking for 12 hours just ain't what it used to be. I thought I could run wif the big dawgs but I guess I need to stay my ass on the porch and make sure the old man in the rockin' chair doesn't smash my freakin' tail.

I have officially reached punk status when it comes to drinking. Gone are the days of waking up, grabbing a 40 and commencing to drink my weight in alcohol. Its cool though. Even low calorie beer, when drinking barrels of it, becomes bad for you.

Friends came over. We drank Crown. She had it with Coke, I had it with ice. One and a half bottles down, coupled wif the low calorie beer of choice, Bud Light.

We head out to the club. I continue wif the Crown on the rocks. A few hours later I felt like I got hit with a bag of rocks and my homey J has to carry me out the club.

Yeah, that's not too cool to have happen to you at my age. I think that I might be banned from that club. I don't know what I did, or who I might've pissed off so I am watching my back even when I go to the gas station. Hell, the grocery store too.

Nothing like getting your ass whupped in aisle 10 by the frozen foods and having security break it up in aisle 1 as we are choking the hell outta each other with makeshift ropes made outta Twizzlers.

(Kinda cleaning up the language. Moms reads my blogs now)

"SAY I", boosted this one from Nsane who got it from Teej...

I am not: like your last man. For some reason he's not here, but I am.

I hurt: when nobody else can understand me.

I think: too much. I try to understand both sides of all arguments. Good debaters do that, though.

I hate: selfish people who take more than they ever care to give.

I cry: when all else fails. Last time was my Grandmother's funeral.

I care: about those who are gracious and loving enough to care about others.

I feel alone: when nobody can see the world the way I do.

I listen: to everything. I spend most of my life observing people and listening is a BIG part of it.

I hide: when there is a problem that I can't fix. I need to stop that.

I drive: better than everyone else.

I sing: whenever the alcohol or the shower compels me to do so.

I dance: to the beat of a different drum.

I write: to free myself. Creativity is a wonderful thing when you can harness it.

I breathe: in order to survive.

I miss: all those who I have ever called a "friend" in my life.

I say: damn what tomorrow may bring, I'm doing okay right now.

I feel: sad and dejected for not getting promoted today, but I feel the anger welling up inside.

I succeed: only when challenged.

I fail: often enough to appreciate what succeeding is like.

I dream: often

I sleep: sporadically.

I wonder: why falling in love isn't as hard as staying in it.

I want: knowledge.

I worry: about my family.

I give: expecting something short of nothing in return.

I fight: if prompted.

I wait: longer then I care to.

I stay: in the thick of it. Can't be left behind.

I am: a fool. Smarter than you would care to believe, but a court jester, nonetheless.

Favorites

An ex-girlfriend sent this book entitled "All About Me." On the front it says, "A unique question and answer book about the story of your life." Why she sent it to me, I don't know. Does she think that I am going to die soon and needed to write down some things so that people who find the book can know intimate things about my life as it was? That sounds kinda morbid, huh? Either way, I thought that I would share some of them with you since I can't think of anything else to write about. Feel free to copy and post on your page if you like.

A color you like to wear?
Black. I don't know why, but that is my favorite color to wear. I know, it lacks depth but...well there it is.

Regardless of size or circumstance, an animal you would like to own as a pet?
A tiger. I just think that would be the shyt to sit in my living room entertaining people and to watch as their eyes get big as hell when my pet Tiger "Chewie" just calmly prances to and fro in the back yard.

Your lucky number? 2

A city you would like to visit? Any major city in Australia. I'm telling you, the Aussie females are very friendly. VERY FRIENDLY!!!!

Your favorite meal? Steak and garlic mashed potatoes.

The film you would watch over and over? Three way tie. Four Brothers, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Gladiator.

An actor whose perfomances you admire: Delroy Lindo. I don't think that he gets enough props. He needs to do more work. The man has range. Of course I like Sam Jackson, Robert DeNiro, William H Macy and overacting ass Al Pacino, but Delroy is often slept on.

Your motto: “You gotta build a couple of bridges to be known as a bridge builder,but if you f*ck one chicken...your a chickenf*cker the rest of your life!”

Your cologne or perfume: Game by Cool Water, Armani Black Code

On your wall hangs: The picture of Muhammad Ali knocking down Sonny Liston in the first minute of the first round of their second fight. Classic pose.

Most expensive possession: Beside my truck, my $3500 White and Yellow gold Chain/Cross around my neck.

Material possessions are: Insignificant to me. It's the lessons learned that I value the most. But if you try to take mine, I'm Donkey Kongin' the hell outta you.

Three things you would save if your house was burning: My wallet, My diamond earring, and one set of clothes to wear. Damn everything else. I know I said material things were insignificant but damn that. That shyt was expensive man!!!

The appropriate age for having sex: Whenever you are able to deal with the consequences.

As an adult have you ever hit a woman? Nope, but my sister caught a bad one when we were little. F*ck that. She used to kick my ass. Don't judge me, you didn't know my pain!!!!

The minimum punishment for those who rape should be: They shouldn't serve any time behind bars. Shyt's crowded as it is. Just cut their dick off and send them right back out the next day with a week's worth of gauze and two painkillers.

The minimum punishment for those who molest children should be: Death, or something like it.

Your opinion of the military: A great place to learn discipline and a good place to get a bearing on where you really want to go, especially if you need money for college. Not preferred by me after doing it, unless you come in as an officer. They pay for your school and you just owe them time.

Your opinion of the draft: Don't agree with it. If you don't want to join, then don't. Just try not to have an opinion on the war and what the people that are fighting in it, especially if it's for a good cause, are doing.

The farthest place you would travel to be with someone you desire? Florida

The farthest place you have traveled to be with someone you desire? Florida

What you dislike most about having a committed relationship: Freedom and trust. Those are two things that there just isn't enough of to go around.

What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: Ass at the ready. Nothing like rolling over and...well, you know. Oh, and the bond and overall companionship that comes with it. Yeah.

An unfulfilled sexual fantasy: An orgy with Salma Hayek, Roselyn Sanchez, Halle, and K.D. Aubert. I'll keep you posted on my progress with that. Right now I'm not even out the gate.

If you had more time alone: I would be subject to go crazy.

The Nicotine Chronicles- Day 154

I can definitely taste the food a lot better. I still haven't figured out if that goes in the plus column or not. Constantly itching and fidgeting around like the drug that I'm trying to kick is Crack Cocaine instead of what's normally found in cigarettes. The road to recovery is long and winding and I'm already getting dizzy. This is my story...

It's almost over!!! I am coming around the mountain on this deployment thing and will be home very soon!!!! Yeah, I may have toked (is that actually a word?) on a cigarette once or twice, but they are behind me now. I can honestly say that my cigarette smoking days are over. No longer am I a slave to the nicotine and other harsh additives found in those little cancer sticks!!!!! I have moved on....to these:


Yep. I've done it now. I think I have transferred my addiction over to these muhfuckahs. What the hell was I thinking? While I don't inhale these, I still get a little buzz when toking (there goes that word again in a different tense, though) on 'em. I have to admit that these things, coupled with a glass of Scotch, Cognac, or your liquor of choice I guess, can just put me in a real state of tranquillity. I mean, I used to wonder why they had, or what the very purpose of a cigar bar was, until I went into one overseas. Man, that's where it's at!! You get you a glass of yak, a smoke, and then just chill with some friends while listening to live jazz that is usually being performed by an aspiring American duo that didn't really make it big in the States but is seeing moderate success covering other people's music over here. I can't hate, shyt, they love 'em. When she asked for requests though, I have to admit that my boys and me were upset that she couldn't sing Anita Baker's "Sweet Love." I was hoping that it was because she didn't have the range whether than her not knowing it. Never really found out though.

I was just in the mood to hear it. I remember when the album came out, my Mom, and her boyfriend at the time, were both in love with it and played the tape on a road trip all the way from Chicago to Ashtabula, Ohio to visit my grandmother. That shyt was killing me and my sister. She had a Walkman but I was stuck, and shyt outta luck. Everytime I woke up I was hearing the same song. Soon Nicole's batteries ran out and she was subjected to the shyt like I was. We were thinking "Twilight Zone" and shyt and were about to ditch they ass at the next Rest Stop until... Well, let me get back on the subject though.

We were at a club in Singapore and one of my boys overheard this fine ass female say, "I love the smell of a good Cohiba." So wanting to be down with the Jones', he orders our drinks and two Cohibas. When the bartender told him the price was $125 he managed to get out a not too subtle "What the f*ck?" before losing consciousness. I don't know if this was his plan, but I doused his ass with water and waited until the nikka came to because...well, I wasn't about to pay for it.


Che Guevara
(No, I don't support Communists)

Anyway, I may have screwed myself because with the cost of gas in Hawaii at $3.40-3.60/gal and these damn cigars going at $35-45 a pop...well it looks like I will be car pooling. I know, but I gotta have these shyts. Look at the advertisement and tell me this wouldn't make you at least want to try one.

"Wow. Now this is a beautiful Cuban Cigar. When you look at the broad selection of cuban cigars, regardless of factory or brand, nothing compares to a beautiful Belicoso. The gentle taper, the massive foot, the deep chocolately wrapper all scream "Bring on the fire!!". Nestled in the box, they look like missles of satifaction in the war machine of desire. (Calm down, J. I think they are still talking about cigars, not...nevermind.) The aroma? Imagine a leather box, full of cinnamon and chocolate, drizzled with Cognac and a touch of orange zest. Then add one part musk and one part jealousy and you have half of how good these smell."

I know, right!!! So, ummm...who's driving on Monday?

What in THE Hell ever Happened to....Camp Lo???

Artist: Camp Lo
Claim to Fame: Rap Group (circa 1996)
Biggest Hit: This Is It
Last Hit: This Is It
Impact: Though they didn't spawn the word "Luchini", this group helped put it in people's mouths for at least 2-3 months.

Because I didn't really wanna do the research, I got the bio off of Yahoo Music. Please forgive me.

"Camp Lo is a rap group from the Bronx who melds hip-hop with jazz sensibilities and funk. After having a hit single, "Coolie High," from The Great White Hype soundtrack in early 1996, they released their debut album, Uptown Saturday Night, in February of 1997. The album was reissued two years later on Arista Records, and a second album (Let's Do It Again) finally appeared in 2002. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine, All Music Guide"

Now I am not the foremost export on Hip Hop/Rap or any kind of music or whatever, but I have had the unfortunate pleasure of smelling farts that lasted longer. I have to admit that I was feeling "This is it"....

This is it (What?!)
Luchini pourin' from the sky Lets get rich (What?!)
The cheeky vines
The sugar dimes
Cant quit (What?!)
Now pop the cork and scream the vigga
And get lit (What?! What?! What?!)


Yeah, that intro, along with the horns, were what did it for me. Aside from that...ummmm...nothing. According to the bio they rereleased the CD in 1999. Didn't notice. Funny that the title for the last CD was "Let's Do It Again". I think not. If it sucked the first time, AND was rereleased, then why do it again.

Kinda like that first time when you slept with that female you had been wanting to hit and you turned in a less than stellar performance. Yeah, and you spent the rest of the weekend wondering why she didn't return your many phone calls. LOL. Yeah....ummmm...anyone ever go through that????
(Clearing throat)
Ahem...ummm...me neither. Movin' on...

So what lesson can we take away from that?????

Subpar winky action ~ no call backs : one hit debut CD ~ sophomore CD sales

I think that was an actual correct answer on the SATs.

Ballin' outta control!!!! Help!!!

The fountain in this pic holds no significant meaning to how we be gettin' down in these foreign ports. Not really....







Singapore. Beautiful country, beautiful women. Enuff said. I told J that we were international with it and I'm not lying. Hopefully we can see some of the country this time.

Yeah, I think for the most part, we spoil ourselves when we are out here on deployment. I mean, we stay at expensive hotels like the Hilton, The Grand this, The Royal that. All of them 4 1/2 stars and up. We do things that we normally wouldn't dream of doing in the States. I mean, if I'm traveling and I'm in your neighborhood I might ask you to hold me down for a night or two. That, or at least sleep at a Super 8 for $40.00 dollars a night. But we do things that we wouldn't even dream of doing back home. I mean, who spends 225 dollars a day at the Hilton in Sydney, Australia? 180 a night in Singapore? Anyone???

WE DO, THAT'S WHO!!!!

We tried to take it down a notch but soon realized....THAT SUCKS!!!
Like my boy GP, for instance, whose toenails coincidentally look like eagle talons, would treat himself to a pedicure and a manicure. Hey, to each, his own. I've had one before....a manicure, that is.
As I walked up on him, I coulda swore that ol' girl hookin' him up had a face shield on when she was sanding down the corns and nails on his claws. Me, being the only expert on the scene with any electrical background, had to explain to them in great detail why the lights were flickerin' on an off throughout the whole ordeal.

But hey, sometimes it's cool to lose yourself. Unfortunately, that also involves handing over 500 stones for a two night stay in a lavish hotel, rubbing elbows with international biznessmen makin' them feel uncomfortable as hell as I ask them, while in the executive lounge draped from head to toe in my University of Illinois BBall gear, wearing flip flops and ankle socks, two fistin' alcoholic beverages because we only have 20 more minutes of free drinks, "Could you please pass the Grey Poupon? Yeah, you Mr. O'Henry. You were here last night. Same drill, gawt dammit!!!!"

Horatio "Huggy" Washington

International Player#: 176893453
Member since: 1992
Expiration date: Armageddon

What in THE Hell Ever Happened To...DAS EFX????

Das EFX

Krazy Drazyz (Andre Weston) and Skoob (Willie Hines) met at Virginia State University in 1988. Both were raised in New York and were at V State majoring in English, I believe. The developed a crazy ass style where most of their rhymes had several made up words ending in "-iggity." This latest craze caught hip hop off guard, but it was quickly embraced by the fans. Das EFX caught their big break when they performed at a talent show judged by EPMD. Though they didn't win, EPMD was impressed enough to offer them a deal, and the duo became part of the Def Squad crew of protégés. I think these niggas lost to Vanilla Ice or somethin' like that. Movin' on...

Upon its release in 1992, Dead Serious caused an immediate sensation, and is still considered something of a landmark in hip-hop circles. The first single, the instantly memorable signature song "They Want EFX," was a Top 40 pop hit and a Top Ten R&B hit, and helped push sales of Dead Serious past the platinum mark. Wary of being pigeonholed by repeating themselves, the duo slowed down their lyrical flow and downplayed the surrealistic side of their interplay on the follow-up album, 1993's Straight Up Sewaside, which went gold. Around the time of 1995's disappointing Hold It Down, which probably went Sterling Silver, they were forgot about. Well, by me at least. The following is the song that introduced them to the fans of Hip Hop worldwide. "They want EFX", is the title as well as the only song they have that I like. I could've sworn one of them were in the group "Poor Righteous Teachers" but I'm probably wrong. Ha. I remember when my boys used to insert the first line of this song whenever someone asked them a question or something. Kinda like...

"Hey man, what you about to get into?"
"I don't know. I was thinking of calling Renee' over to the house so I can 'Bum stiggedy bum stiggedy bum hon...'"

Yeah, hard to believe we were corny like that once. Anyway, wifout further adieu, here are some lyrics that I bet you have long forgot about.

THEY WANT EFX


Bum stiggedy bum stiggedy bum hon I got the old pa rum pum pum pum
But I can fe fi fo fum diddly bum here I come
So Peter Piper I'm hyper than Pinochio's nose
I'm the supercalafragilistic tic tac pro
I gave my oopsy daisy now you've got the crazy
Crazy with the books Googley goo where's the gravy
So one two unbuckle my um shoe
Yabba Doo hippity hoo crack a brew
So trick or treat smell my feet yup I drippedy-dropped a hit
So books get on your mark and spark that old censorship
Drats and double drats, I smiggedy-smacked some whiz kids
The boogedy-woogedly Brooklyn boy's about to get his, dig
My waist bone's connected to my hip bone
My hip bone's connected to my thigh bone
My thigh bone's connected to my knee bone
My knee bone's connected to my hardy-har-har-har
The jibbedy-jabber jaw ja-jabbing at your funny bone, um
Skip the ovaltine, I'd rather have a honeycomb
Or preferably the sesame, Let's spiggedy-spark the blunts, um
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun
They want EFX, some live EFX

And with that, I am out like...well...these niggas.

One Small Step for Man....

Setting: In the Maintenance Office about three weeks ago.

Aiight, so I'm looking online because I am thinking that I need a new set of boots. Some asshole, while cleaning up the berthing (the small sleeping area where they cram 90 muhf*ckahs in like a can of Vienna sausages- wun) throws away one, I repeat, ONE of my boots. Now why would anyone do some evil shyt like that, I don't know.

Sooooo after borrowing a pair from a colleague of mine...I know, I know, not the preferred way to go but we were going to be out to sea for over a month and I needed a pair to wear, I search for some to purchase. I come across these.

Now they look comfortable and I think that I am going to enjoy these because, hey, you gotta look after your feets. I begin to read up on them and the more and more I read I start believing that these are the pair for me. I mean here is what the advertisement says about them.

ETC™ technology controls friction, and preventing moisture and blisters
Sympatex membrane for waterproof and bloodborne protection
Lace to toe Styling
Slip-resistant Vibram outsole
Steel toe and shank
Removeable insole
Meets ANSI Z41 PT99 M1/75 C/75 standards for safety toe

I know what you're thinking. "This cat is a sucker for advertising." Well, you would be right. I was sold. I mean, considering where I was going to be going the "Sympatex membrane for waterproof and bloodborne protection" might have been just what Unca Sam shoulda provided us with all along. I mean, I don't wanna die from any bloodborne agents. And yes, my home that I build will have a bomb shelter. Annnnnnnnnnnd if the other disclosures weren't enough, they go into great detail about the "friction controlled" point of it all. Then, as if they needed anymore visual aids for this fish, who was already reeling from the hook that he just bit down on, they hit me with a picture that looks like this....
Yeah. The one on the left just looks like your feet would be a hell of a lot cooler. I mean I told you that just yesterday that it got up to 105 degrees. I look at the price. "As low as $139.99!"

Well, GAWT DAMN!!!!! I am used to paying only $70 for some steel-toed shoes. Hell these things better massage my toes for that price, shyt!!!! After a little time to think it over, I finally enter my address and credit card information. F*ck it. We were going to be out and I wanted a good pair of boots so I might as well spend the cash, right? Man was I ever wrong about that!!!!

Ten days go by and I am told that I have mail, and that it must be a care package because it was so big. I am excited because I am thinking that finally, FINALLY...that care package that J said that she was going to send had arrived. I rush upstairs like a little ass kid, brushin' pass people, just anxious as hell to open a bag of those pistaccios. When I get there I find a big ass box sitting in the middle of the floor. Thinking this must be it, I head over, pick it up and realize that it is lighter than I would've hoped. I look further and I see that it is in fact the name of the company I bought the boots from. The box is huge!!! I wear a size 14 but damn!!! I open it up and I find myself staring at the biggest set of frickin' moonboots in all of GOD's creation!!!!!!


DAMNNN!, I yelled. People gathered around and all shared in on the moment. The laughs just wouldn't stop coming. I made the mistake and tried them on in front of my guys. I was told that I looked like...


So I'm thinking I am going to break them in and then maybe they would start to looking normal. Well the very next day I am on watch and Khary comes down to chat. After seeing my boots he begins to cut loose. As he's hopping around in the chair very slowly trying to simulate an astronaut, "KAAAAAAHHHH...That's one small step for man..."